


Good Things

by yikesola



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Established Relationship, M/M, job hunt, non-youtuber au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29830548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola
Summary: Everything seems to overwhelm Phil these days. Not just the search for a new job. Not just the constant self-doubt and worry and trouble sleeping. Even things he likes are overwhelming, like Dan’s gentle squeeze of Phil’s shoulder before he walks back over to the lounge.A fic about perseverance and support.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53





	Good Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ahappyphil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/gifts).



> Congratulations keelin🥰✨

Phil nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears a mug being set on the desk beside him. He had been so focused on the blindingly bright computer screen and the seemingly endless page of job listings that he hadn’t noticed Dan bringing the coffee over until the dull thump of heavy ceramic hitting one of their geode coasters jolted him back into the room.

“You need to take a break,” Dan says. He is smiling gently, but Phil knows that smile will get more insistent if he doesn’t listen. “You’ve been at it for hours.” 

Phil picks up the coffee and sips and he can feel the warmth travel to his limbs. The clock in the corner of his desktop tells him he would normally have had his afternoon caffeine hit almost an hour ago. He immediately feels a little more human. “Thanks,” he says. Dan runs a hand through Phil’s quiff by way of saying _you’re welcome_. 

He doesn’t duck and squeak out high pitched complains about his hair the way Dan used to when Phil would do that. Back when Phil would be the one bringing over a hot drink and saying Dan needed to take a break when he was buried in law textbooks and trying to decipher his shit handwritten notes. But Dan straightened his hair back then, oh so carefully. Dan doesn’t have any complaints about Phil messing with his curls these days. 

In general, Phil still isn’t used to being the one taken care of like this. He would do what he could to help Dan slog through a law degree. He would try to help Dan be gentle with himself about his depression the longer he tried to tough out a career he simply hated. He would remind Dan of the necessity of breaks when he went back to school a year later for a philosophy degree. All this time after, Phil is sitting in front of his ever-tweaked resume and cover letters and making himself go even blinder by staring so intently at the computer screen, and Dan is returning the favour in a way Phil can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed by. 

Mostly because everything seems to overwhelm him these days. 

Not just the search for a new job. Not just the constant self-doubt and worry and trouble sleeping. Even things he likes are overwhelming, like Dan’s gentle squeeze of Phil’s shoulder before he walks back over to the lounge. 

It leaves his hands shakier than usual as he takes another sip of coffee. It’s been given milk and two sugars, exactly how Phil likes it. 

-

The room feels unsettlingly still and silent after the video call ends. Phil still feels his strained smile on his face, the one that he hopes tells the people he’s having a job interview with _I am a great and totally normal person for you to hire_ and not _I am an absolute nervous wreck, please hire me or I will cry, that is a promise not a threat_. 

He thinks it was a good interview. But he thought the last four were good interviews. And then all those places did whatever the professional version of ghosting is. Not even a “Thanks, but no thanks” email to give him closure. 

A voice in some ornery corner of his mind tells him he doesn’t actually care about this particular job. He just wants to be hired. It’s not like this position he interviewed for today was any better than the freelance work he’s been doing since uni. It’s not like it’s his dream job or anything. So if he never hears back it shouldn’t even sting, it should just be a relief. 

Phil knows that’s bullshit though. Knows it will sting and fester and bruise. 

“All done?” Dan calls from the bedroom. 

“Yeah,” Phil calls back. 

Phil can hear even from here Dan take a great deep breath. Then he shouts, “Penis!” like he’d presumably been holding back from doing while Phil was on a professional business call. 

“I have a name, you know,” Phil shakes his head. 

Dan’s laugh is loud enough to shake the thin, cracked walls of their too-small flat. 

-

After months of the same song and dance, Phil is getting so discouraged it’s hard to even fake optimism. Some companies tell him he’s overqualified with his masters in video post-production. Some companies are shady as hell and have websites plastered in watermarked stock footage because they didn’t want to pay for the rights. So many many companies just never reach out despite his applications and emails and attempts to make them aware he is a person who exists and could conceivably do the work they need done. 

It’s hard not to think there’s just something unhireable about him. Like it’s not the shit economy or sheer bad luck, it’s _him_. 

But he doesn’t know what to do other than keep trying. Dan is encouraging where Phil needs him to be; says he’s proud of Phil, makes sure Phil does something other than job hunt for eighteen hours a day, provides welcome distraction.

It’s enough to keep Phil trying. 

-

He stops being precious about which positions to apply for after enough time. Any job will do, he starts to feel. Any job that will take him and help pay the bills and give him some metric of worth in a way that not working simply has destroyed. 

He still has places he would prefer to work of course. Large companies that use their influence ethically. Places with travel opportunity instead of being stuck in a cubical. Places he would be proud to tell people he worked for. 

But he’s also not too proud to cast a wide net. 

And all the while he looks for loose connections, friends of friends and old classmates and former coworkers. He sends the emails he fills in the applications. He is basically working full time, but all in the efforts someone will let him do it for pay. 

Dan does little things like picking up Phil’s scattered socks without complaint, or answering the door for takeout even though he would usually badger Phil into doing it. Phil keeps tallying in his mind ways to make it up to him if — when! — the job search ends. They’ll open that cheap champagne Dan had optimistically bought and placed on top of the fridge and said they’d have when Phil hears the elusive h-word. They’ll go on holiday and Phil will actually relax as he hasn’t done for months. He’ll be the one reminding Dan to take breaks again. 

Or maybe, he thinks, from here on out, they’ll share the load. 

-

The internet _would_ crash the same day they have the gas man over to investigate a leak and the day Dan is down in Wokingham for his mum’s birthday. It never rains but it fucking pours. 

And it means that Phil is more exhausted than usual when he is laying on the couch with his arms folded over his head, and he hears his phone buzz on the coffee table. 

He almost doesn’t look. He almost lets voicemail do what it’s good for. 

But he sits up and his spine pops and he answers the unsaved number with an attemptedly chipper, “Hello?” 

“Good afternoon, I’m looking to speak with Phil Lester?” a genuinely chipper voice says. 

The call, amazing and impossible, is from Lexicon Creative. The company he has about ten active applications submitted to. The company he’s been hitting up on every professional networking social media for months. A company so established they were involved in video before it was even called video (he thinks… it’s been a while since he put that English Language and Linguistics degree to use). 

And they’re calling him. They’re asking if he’s free for a quick phone interview. They’re calling him _right fucking now_ and Phil says yes because of course he does. Is he really going to tell his goddamn dream job “No, sorry, could you call back later after I’ve had time to do some deep breathing exercises and prepare some interview notes?” 

-

He gets a second interview. And then a third. And then a fourth, even if they don’t call that final one an interview and specifically say that it’s informal. Each one is a video call with someone who might be his boss, might be a member of his team, might have the final say in a job offer that would change his life. There’s talk of onboarding and waiting only for confirmation from the company’s hiring manager and smiling instructions to keep an eye on his email. 

Despite that, Phil is so gunshy at this point that he’s too afraid to really believe it. He’s too afraid to get excited only for the universe to pull the rug out from under him. So when Dan asks how he feels after each interview, he says only, “Good, I think,” and nothing more concrete. 

Dan isn’t fooled, of course. He knows that companies don’t schedule a fourth interview where the applicant is essentially being given a vibe check unless the company is seriously considering them. Is just waiting for the right people to check their emails. Is just waiting on the tax documents to be sent over for signatures. 

Which is why Phil looks at the job offer email in disbelief but Dan isn’t at all surprised. 

“I…” Phil gets up from the desk and starts pacing for lack of any other outlet of his adrenaline. “No fucking way.” 

“Yes fucking way!” Dan laughs after checking the screen for himself. He sprints over to the kitchen for that champagne they’ve been saving. 

“It can’t be real,” Phil says. He’s smiling and pretty sure this emotion is happiness, but it’s so swathed in shock that he can’t quite tell. “ _I_ don’t get this lucky!”

“Right, babe,” Dan says. He rolls his eyes and sips straight from the bottle before handing it over to Phil. “It was pure luck, nothing to do with your persistence in reaching out to them. Definitely not because you’re super qualified for the job. And can’t forget your rotten personality, lucky of them to ignore that.” 

Phil chokes a little on his swig of cheap champagne. “I hate you,” he tells Dan. 

Dan’s smile gets a little serious. He puts a hand on either side of Phil’s face and says, “Babe, it’s a good thing. And you deserve good things.” 

Dan means it. Phil hears him and tries to let it soak into his bones. 

Phil is overwhelmed again, in a very very good way. Overwhelmed and relieved and altogether untethered. His vision is blurred by some tears, but he can still see Dan lean forward to kiss him and to snatch back the booze. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading— come say hi on [tumblr](http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/644680735845957632/good-things) !


End file.
